The Family Vladislas

Subspecies
Year released: 1991
Directed By: Ted Nicolaou
Cast: Laura Tate, Michael Watson, Anders Hove, Irina Movila & Angus Scrimm

Three female American students – one brunette, two blondes, gosh guess who lives to the end? – journey to Romania to study the local folklore. Little do they know that the ruins of Castle Vladislas are still very much inhabited by an ancient and very ugly vampire dude named Radu. With his Nosferatu pedicure, heavy metal hairdo and excessive drooling, Radu is, understandably, not the most popular member of the royal vampire family, but nevertheless plans to claim the throne of vampiric royalty from his goody-two-shoes brother Stefan. But Stefan has fallen in love with Miss Brunette and vice versa, so Radu sets out to claim her as well! Can Michelle and Stefan battle the forces of evil, and will their love survive Stefan’s allergy to sunlight?

I love Full Moon Ent. Their films are such cheesy handfuls of silly crap, but all are infused with a good sense of fun and a genuine love for the horror genre. Subspecies is no exception. Filmed on location in Romania during what looks like a crisp, golden autumn, it’s a stunningly beautiful film with an authentic, gypsy flavored soundtrack.


Okay, so the acting isn’t exactly shaking the grave dust off the corpse of Laurence Olivier or anything. Michelle and Stefan are somewhat stiff, and good ol’ Angus Scrimm – who looks like George Washington in drag, by the way – is killed off before the credit sequence. However, the local supporting cast is wonderful, and gets to show off their colorful traditions during a cemetery celebration scene. Andres Hove as the disgusting Radu steals the whole movie as the shar pei-faced baddie with the overactive saliva glands. You end up rooting for him, as his personality and devotion to the role blows everyone else right the fuck off the screen.


Buxom girls in sheer lingerie, swords fights, geysers of blood and some really cool claymation monsters make Subspecies an underrated winner, combining all the best elements of an old Hammer flick and a Ray Harryhausen vehicle. Nobody sparkles and everyone bleeds. Win-win.


Subspecies 2

Year released: 1993
Directed By: Ted Nicolaou
Cast: Anders Hove, Denise Duff, Melanie Shatner, Kevin Spirtas & Pamela Gordon

Michelle Morgan has defeated the evil vampire Radu and has been turned into a vampire herself by her new Prince Vamp boyfriend Stefan. But Radu miraculously manages to resurrect himself and kills Stefan in his coffin. Or rather, he rams a spear through a very fake looking Stefan dummy slapped together at the last minute. Michelle flees Castle Vladislas with the Bloodstone in her possession. The Bloodstone – an ancient relic and Vladislas family heirloom – can sustain the vampire who feeds from it and grants them amazing powers and strength. Determined to regain his treasure, Radu follows Michelle to Bucharest, but once there he realizes he’s smitten with the lovely girl and becomes determined to claim both her and the Bloodstone for himself. Can Michelle’s sister and her new handsome boyfriend save Michelle from a fate worse than death?

This is a solid, enthusiastic follow-up to 1991’s original Subspecies. Denise Duff is a very pretty and welcome new Michelle who looks stunning in a torn lace dress and with a ghastly ghostly pallor that could put Gary Numan to shame. Radu gets to grow up a bit too, despite his “mamma’s boy” devotion to his disgustingly shriveled up “Mummy,” the sequel’s new villain. His love for the pretty Michelle is pathetic and ghoulish, and despite his resemblance to a lumpy, weather beaten gargoyle, you end up feeling terribly sorry for the drooly pervert...even though I have to question why he has a ready supply of lacy white nightgowns on hand for his female victims to don. Does he buy them in bulk, or was the Vladislas family at one time lingerie moguls in Eastern Europe?

More serious than the first, but every bit as much fun, Bloodstone: Subspecies 2 is a very watchable sequel that delivers a good, strong story and rightly moves Anders Hove to center stage. Followed by yet another worthy sequel, the slightly silly but totally engaging Bloodlust: Subspecies 3!

Subspecies 3

Year released: 1994
Directed By: Ted Nicolaou
Cast: Anders Hove, Denise Duff, Melanie Shatner, Kevin Spirtas & Pamela Gordon

Michelle Morgan has been reluctantly spirited back to Castle Vladislas by the lovesick Radu and his icky Mummy. Radu is determined to make Michelle his devoted fledgling. Michelle demands that Radu give her a crash course in Vampire Survival 101. Mummy wants her baby boy back and plots to remove Michelle from the picture. But wait! Sister Becky and her buff boyfriend are determined to rescue Michelle with the help of a silly guerilla guy in cammie jammies! Can they scale the stone walls of the castle and save the day? Well, yeah, most likely.

The Subspecies franchise continues strongly with this third installment. It’s silly and cheap but its nastily blackened diseased little heart is still in the right place. Denise Duff is back, along with her co-starring hair, transforming herself into a sexy, blood-splattered temptress. Who can blame Radu for trying to give her a hickey on the castle ramparts in the dawn's early light? Mel Shatner and Kevin Spirtas get to share an awkward love scene that’s about as hot and arousing as watching the Bowling Championships on TV. Radu gets some funny one-liners for a change and dies yet another horrible death. But don’t worry! He’ll be back. He always is. Sadly, Bloodstorm: Subspecies 4 is a flaming bag of dogshit compared to the first three films, so maybe you should just accept Radu’s demise in this film and move on with your life.