Aaron Aites

An urgent message from filmmaker Audrey Ewell:

Filmmaker and musician Aaron Aites (Until The Light Takes Us, 99%, Iran) is in the fight of his life.  He has been diagnosed with an aggressive kidney cancer. Aaron is my soulmate, filmmaking partner, and fiance, and we are asking for your help in beating this plague.

Aaron and I met 18 years ago in San Francisco. We became friends when he got a job at the environmental nonprofit where I worked.  Then we started making films together.  In early 2001, while shooting our first joint documentary film, Until The Light Takes Us, we fell in love. We’ve been together ever since, making films, and taking care of of one neurotic but sweet rescue pup and three badly behaved cats.

Aaron is my life partner, my creative partner and my best friend.  He has a sweetness that comes out especially with those in need, and a quick inquisitive mind.  He explores the world through his art, in his films and with his band, Iran, and other music projects. We’ve grown together as people and artists, we’ve grown apart at times, but we’ve always found our way back to each other, for the simple reason that we deeply love and choose one another as our life partner.

On January 15, we found ourselves in the emergency room. Aaron had been feeling so sick for the past several months that he’d taken a lot of time off work. He’d lost over 40 pounds in that time. His doctor told him it was just bronchitis. But he got sicker and sicker, and he kept going back for answers, for help.  Each time, she said it was nothing. Well she was wrong. After five hours in the emergency room, the ER doctor came in and quietly shattered our world with the news that Aaron has a very large tumor in his kidney.

Just three days before  that, I'd lost my job. Nothing quite like being kicked while you're down.

Biopsies revealed that it was renal cell carcinoma. It’s aggressive. Very hard to treat.  Statistically, it's a quick killer. It’s terrifying.

But we refuse to give up.  There are things we can do. A small percentage of people beat the odds and go into extremely long term remission. So: OK. We’re going to be in that group, and Aaron’s going to live. He’s way too young, he has way too much left to do, and honestly, I can’t imagine being in this world without him, so we’re going to fight this with all we’ve got, and do every last thing we can to improve his chances.

We’re smart people, we know how to research the hell out of a problem, and we're used to doing the impossible. Our last film was 99% - a collaborative film we founded and helmed about the Occupy Wall Street movement and the escalating inequality that destroys lives, unfairly stacking the odds against everyday people. We took on that project because it was important, even though it meant 100-hour work-weeks and brutal workloads. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, a festival that gets over 12,000 submissions and programs less than 200, and from there we placed it with a great distributor, Participant Media, who bring socially relevant films to light. We’ve beat the odds before and we can do it again. We also, unfortunately, went through our savings making that film.  Since Aaron can’t work, and I was laid off, we haven’t had normal income in a couple months, and none at all for a month. Aaron only has state insurance, as he hadn't yet qualified for it at his new job.

I'm now researching treatment options, calling doctors and clinics, taking him to the hospital for procedures, dealing with his terrible insurance, negotiating to get us in to see out of network specialists, and simultaneously researching alternative treatments that have shown results (and separating them from the metric ton of quackery and charlatans clogging up research channels). We’re trying to quickly learn meditation and other stress-reduction techniques, to help Aaron deal with his overwhelming fear and anxiety. Research has shown lowering stress leads to a better response to treatment.

We want to explore all treatment possibilities, in addition to standard options like surgery and then drugs which are essentially poison. Possibilities like accessing cutting edge personalized oncology medicine that has the potential to improve any future outcomes and extend Aaron’s life. There are new drug trials taking place all over the country, and there’s one new drug that’s particularly promising. Or doing targeted biopsies to test for genetic drivers of the cell mutation. That might point us in a better direction faster.

We have to move fast. Right now, the cancer hasn’t spread to his bones, brain, or other organs.  There is a possibly tiny amount of metastasis in his lungs. This is, overall, good news. But our lack of funds limits the decisions we can make about pursuing Aaron’s care options.  This is where your help makes all the difference.

To save Aaron's life, we need to be able to work with the most current surgical and immunotherapy techniques available.

Aaron is strong - I’ve never met a stronger, kinder or more compassionate man - but he needs help. Even when his acerbic humor masks it, he’s always the first to help someone in need, to take in a bunch of abused animals and nurse them back to health, and with his art?  Aaron tries to give something of truth and sustenance to the world.  Now we’re using Aaron’s strength to help him heal.

We need to get going on this, right away.

If you have ever listened to Aaron’s music, or seen his films, and been moved by it, taken strength from it, or even just had it enrich your life for the time that you enjoyed it, please help. If Aaron’s work or life has ever touched yours, please help. Please help Aaron beat this cancer. I’m doing everything I can on my own, but I need help too. I can’t lose him. I won’t lose him. He has a lot more to do in this world. We have been working on a new film and we WILL make it.

In the midst of all this, there is joy: We’re getting married. I proposed to him, the night we got back from the emergency room. We were huddled together in bed, wondering what the future holds for us, and I told him it held at least one thing: our wedding. He’s wanted to get married for ages, and after 15 years, I’ve decided he’s a keeper. And we will have a future. Together. We ask that any gift you might otherwise have given us please be made here instead. 

Please leave messages here telling Aaron that you care. If you love him, tell him. If he’s mattered to you, please tell him. It will give him strength to get through this crisis.

We really appreciate your help.  If you know anyone else who may be interested in helping, please share this.  Every little bit counts.

Please repost this. Please donate if you can, or just show support. Aaron is a good guy. Nobody deserves cancer, least of all him. And please visit the GoFundMe page!!!