So who's left?
These hot fuckers....
As portrayed by Tom Wlaschiha
Fucker speaks five different languages.
Was also in Rush, Valkyrie and Enemy at the Gates, of which I've only seen the latter and don't remember him at all.
For a guy who officially has no face, Jaqen's got a nice one: elegant, full lipped, slightly sleepy eyes which nevertheless see all. Jaqen is a coyote, a shapeshifter, skinchanger, trickster and Joker, a magician who makes his tricks look casual and effortless. His flippant veneer is paper thin, veiling a deadly serious man with a well of fire and darkness within. I've never been so envious of a ten year old girl, but Arya Stark lucked out big time, scoring a friendship with this slippery swordsman, who returns to GoT this week, hopefully to stick around for a while as Arya's guide and mentor. And hey, isn't it kinda hot in Braavos? Can a man remove his shirt?
As portrayed by Michiel Huisman.
Definitely NOT the other guy, who looked like the bastard offshoot of Miles O'Keefe and fucking Fabio. Yuck. I was glad when Huisman took over the role.
He was also in World War Z as a character named Ellis. I don't remember that either, but I didn't think WWZ was a particularly memorable movie anyway.
I believe it was Book Five that Daenerys made (or thought) an observation about Daario, stating that he swaggers even when he is standing still. Indeed he does. Much like Jaqen, Daario is flippant and unimpressed by most everyone, scared of absolutely fuckall and says whatever the fuck he wants, whenever he wants, with zero shits given about what anyone might think, including Daenerys. He kills much like he fucks: in the moment, if he feels like it, with no real concern about the outcome. His love for Daenerys is simple and he doesn't pussyfoot around about it: just, here it is, do what you want with it. Or not. I'll be over here killing stuff, let me know when you've made up your mind.
As portrayed by Rory McCann.
Was also in Hot Fuzz as the Yarp guy, do I really need to remind anyone of this?
And yes, he most definitely is hot. Come on, who the fuck didn't melt just a little when he barged into the barn where Sansa was about to be gang raped, killed five mutherfuckers without breaking a sweat and then offered the teenage girl his hand with an offhand "You're alright now, Little Bird" before carrying her to safety? Sure, he's a loutish, brutish mass of scars on legs and he probably smells like the inside of a horse, but he's a big softie when it comes to the little girls. We know he loves Sansa, and we know that Sansa loves him back even if she can't bring herself to admit it yet. And we know he likes Arya, admires the spunky little shit like the kid sister he should have had. And we damn well know he's not dead. At least, those of us who have read the books. So hurry up and bring him back, Martin. The SanSan shippers will not be denied.
As portrayed by Joseph Mawle.
The guy played Jesus in The Passion, not to be confused with Mel fuckstabby crazyass Gibson's film The Passion of the Christ.
He's got kind of a Sharlto Copley thing going on. And he plays Sean Bean's brother. Too bad he wandered off into snow zombie land so early on and never returned...at least, not as a human being anyway. I'm not too hot on the idea of a frozen Benjen White Walker and keep hoping like hell that he'll miraculously turn up alive, living amongst the Wildings with a pet giant or something, showing up in the nick of time to save The Wall because Jon Snow seriously knows nothing and isn't at all attractive, unless you happen to get turned on by guys who pout harder than rain gutters and constantly look like they need a hefty dose of stool softeners. Jon, you know nothing and you will never be as cool as your uncle Benjen.
As portrayed by Charles Dance.
Dude. The man is a super class-act living legend. He played the Phantom of the Opera and got to fuck Ripley in Alien 3. I don't give a fat shit how old he is, or how dead Tywin is, or even that he died sitting on the toilet with his panties down around his ankles, gut shot by a midget. He's sexier than a cotton panty bonfire. Tywin Lannister may be cruel and pigheaded and an all around shit, but admit it - you loved him because he bitch smacked his shitty kids, and that foppish dandy fucktart grandson of his and anyone else who happened to annoy him. And he was good at it.
And lets not forget that he too was charmed by Arya Stark, unaware that she was Arya Stark and charmed by her nevertheless. Anyone who likes Arya can't be all bad.
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