I know what lets do!

Please to be reading the following list of the best and most quality MST3K one-liners ever uttered, won't we?

#1 -  Episode #424, Manos: The Hands of Fate
Joel Utterly Loses His Shit:

#2 - Episode #819, Invasion of the Suppository Neptune Men
Tom Servo (aka Htom Sirveaux) Utterly Loses His Shit:

#3 - Episode #517, The Beginning of the End
Tom Servo Has Sympathy for the Deaf:

#4 - Episode 912, The Screaming Skull

A minister comes upon the drowned, skull-chewed dead body of wife killer Eric, who has steadfastly refused to attend said minister's services:
Crow T. Robot: "Good riddance, ya stinkin' athiest!"

#5 - Episode #804, The Deadly Mantis

Science type consultant guy has been wracking his brains, trying to figure out what insect a giant spur belongs to:
Science Guy: "I have narrowed the field to one!"
Crow T. Robot: "Should we narrow it further?"

#6 - Episode #319, War of the Colossal Beast

A Mexican sheriff is not surprised when a young boy in deep shock fails to tell a couple of gringos what happened to the truck he was driving:
Crow T. Robot: (affecting stereotypical Mexican accent): "We could pump his stomach but I do not think we'd find your truck."

#7 - Episode #416, Fire Maidens of Outer Space

"Bye! Thanks for the valium!"

#8 - Episode #421, Monster A Go Go
"They couldn't afford to make the phone ring."

#9 - Episode #820, Space Mutiny
The Many Names of David Ryder...

#10 - Episode #304, Gamera VS. Barugon

And here's the dialogue if you can't follow Servo's oxygen-depleting, hysterical pitch:

"And we'll be right back, right after this:

Kids! Here's the greatest, the neatest, and the latest thing. 5000-piece Fightin' Men and Monster set (some pieces not included.) Astonish and baffle your friends and foes while you pulverize Japan. Here's what you get:

500 Japanese light infantry body parts (may not be missing)
36 helpless individuals
20 tanks
15 recoil-less rifles (not in the set)
24 bazooka gun runners
18 ambulance chasers
12 jet fighters (6 not included)
16 helicopter parts
200 shooting crouches
19 fighting clowns
8 deserters
6 geese-a-laying
24 Mohawk Indians
and much, much, much, much more!
Act now and receive at half the extra value the mystifying monster action pack. Flame-on with Gamera (torso sold separately.) He spits real fire and causes real pain. Solid rubber Barugon comes complete with optional ram-tongue action (not responsible for nerve damage.) And amuse your friends with Topel, Meatsong, and Bart the Bat-man Belgium and dive (some parts may not exist.) Act now, act often, and snap on the entire Tokyo metropolitan area complete with buildings, bridges, and the breakaway Monte Nuclear Dam (smaller than shown.) Trample the add-on hapless citizen playset, then abhor the action with the fabulous anti-war protest pack (Senator Wellstone not included.)

But that's not all.  Relive your favorite Japanese movie carnage with the Lights! Gamera! Action! series. There's the gimp, the goon, the shame-filled brother, the hapless geisha, and the fall-apart voodoo Kenny. Pose in the nude with the Frisky Kitten Revue then watch the action from high atop Tokyo Tower as the twisted world you create explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain.

Order today. Offer limited. Not available in Utah. Puerto Rico prices subject to herein. Please wear rubber underwear and some parts may be made of chicken. Act now! Buy bonds! That's all! MOMMY!  MOMMY!

*Joel gives Tom oxygen.
*Tom begins sobbing.